busy semester

lectures, lab work, tutorials, rushing reports, projects, school, home..............
sums up my life now...
no time for eventful stuffs, no time for thoughts, so nothing to report to blog wahaha...

do i have the right, do we have the right....

to complain...

are we in thaaat bad condition...

think of those ppl who face worse problems...or is it just self-deceit...
but what about those who are better off...

btw.....1 liter of tears is good.......
so, do i still have the right to complain?

making a comeback

it's been sooooooooooo long.... i didnt know we need to use gmail to log into blogspot.....

as usual, it's vacation.......dunno what should i do with the spare time, so blogging comes to the rescue......
i have started vacation job last friday, that's just 3 days after my last paper.....so fast, felt lucky finding a job so fast, not to mention it's near my house.........
but man!!! it's such a drag......i dun like the job, maybe, i even hate the job.......
i have to work on saturdays too....it means more $$$, which should be a good thing, but somehow, i'm not too happy with it......

the enthusiasm is gone i guess.....

am i complaining too much.......

Mid-life crisis

I think i am having mid-life crisis now, i feel sooo useless & under-achieved, i let my folks down......how??? it sucks...................
when im really in my mid life, what will i be having then?

btw.....today is the day to sing '17 aug taon 45 itulah hari kemerdekaan kita'
felix went to embassy, sooooooooooo funnnnnnnnnnny, funny coz it's felix
17-08-1945, according to , i dunno what u call them, fengshui master? psychic?, which i read from dunno which particular source, is a bad day, which is no wonder the state- the state has always been in.....endless prob......

Kau masih kekasihku

Best song in my list now man, so sad..the singer sings it soooo sadly........esp when he says 'sungguh2x menyiksaku' damn..... at first i tot the lyrics is a bit 'rou ma', but no!!! it's so so touchinggggggggggggg

Kau masih kekasihku by Naff

Jauh di lubuk hatiku
masih terukir namamu
jauh di dasar jiwaku
engkau masih kekasihku

tak bisa ku tahan laju alir
untuk semua kenangan yang berlalu
hembuskan sepi
merobek hati

meski raga ini tak lagi milikmu
namun di dalam hatiku sungguh engkau hidup
entah sampai kapan
ku tahankan rasa cinta ini

jauh di lubuk hatiku
masih terukir namamu
jauh di dasar jiwaku
engkau masih kekasihku

dan ku berharap semua ini
bukan kekeliruan seperti yang kukira
seumur hidupku
akan menjadi doa untukmu

jauh di lubuk hatiku
masih terukir namamu
jauh di dasar jiwaku
engkau masih kekasihku

andai saja waktu bisa terulang kembali
akan kuserahkan hidupku di sisimu
namun ku tahu itu takkan mungkin terjadi
rasa ini menyiksaku
sungguh sungguh menyiksaku

jauh di lubuk hatiku
masih terukir namamu
jauh di dasar jiwaku
engkau masih kekasihku

Will it ever end?

My friend said it's a cursed land, is it? i tot it's supposed to be the opposite, it's green, it's rich n fertile, except that the ppl are just too dumb or too scheming? to make use of it.....i guess.....it's just endless, diseases, disasters, endless........ some ppl after suharto's down or after sby's up....shrugs
within my short stay back here, i experienced 2 earthquakes, but since thx God the centre was somewhere in the sea (selat Sunda), and not i the middle of the city, all we felt was just the ground shaking, pretty huge, since even ppl on the ground floor could feel it and ran out of buildings...not something common in Jakarta....just barely a month after Djogja earthquake, then sulawesi, sumatra, tsunami in pangnadaran,then on n on n on......
blame it on the earth crusts, blame it on geography, but why does it have to be directly, practically at every part of the country......cursed....no other way to explain....
it's really sad, it's a nice place, except for the ppl, well...most of the ppl...some of the ppl...

btw, steamboats eateries sucks in singapore.........now i know.....

How do ppl know it???

Sometimes I wonder how do ppl know what they are kinda meant to do in their lives. I guess nobody really actually knows it. But I think I have heard a few, very few lucky ones who just kinda know, they don’t really consciously know, but it’s just there and they do it. It’s almost like the school medic in the show ‘sky high’, her power is x-ray eyes, so, it’s like she is meant to fix broken bones, no other job will suit her better. Lame example….but of course people dun really have to know what they are made to do, they can choose one and do well on it, equally the same. It’s like…my old man, if he doesn’t go into fishing, what will his career be then? He might be better off, who knows……if he just stick with electronics at that time, will he be a more loaded person or a less tense person or a happier n satisfied one for that matter? Or the opposite? Im sure lots of ppl have such thoughts before. It’s not a matter of successful career or not, it’s more of whether someone really feels so right about what he/she is doing. They feel great about what they do and rewarded with satisfying means of living aka money, that will be the perfect scenario! Btw, somehow to me $$$ = success…..it’s not that im complaining about a job or a business which I have no interest or passion or whatsoever,as long as it gives me $$$, I will stick with it. But the thing is, isn’t it nice to know or somehow get into something in which you have a knack for and be successful ($$$)…..no need to be extremely rich, but if that can be achieved why not, as long as basics need met, get the things I like and enjoy, which don’t cost much, I am talking about me here…..emergencies can be faced with greater assurance…..life, no matter what, have to be practical about it….damn I always sidetrack, the thing is…if I am one of those fortunate ones who just somehow subconsciously know….how nice………….but im not…..and im not young anymore, no more a teeny….now I know being teeny is the best, just like kei said, the period of time when you don’t need to be responsible and still have ppl to run to but have the brain to do things the way you like on your own. Back to me being not young anymore, I must think what I want to do next man…..or at least learn, or at least know what the real thing is like…so far my life has been too structured, im not complaining about rigid structures, but the real thing’s not like that….am I thinking too much like my frens always say? They say life will take its own course naturally, eventually, so no worry, but…….a person still got to do something to make things happen right…………………………so..back to the question…wot to do? And how do I know it’s gonna turn out alright…….just alright…………….